Healing Memories

Turning "Ouch!" into "Thanks!"

My dad was a wonderful man. He was also deeply frustrated, having abandoned his dream of becoming an architect to work all his life at a government job, initially to care for his large family after his own father died early and then because it was easier to keeping doing that than to shed security and go for his dream.

So, you can imagine his frustration with me!

I’ve been a dreamer since birth. My disinterest in security and my passion for change became a constant (painful) reminder of his failure. At least, that’s how I think he saw it. Someone else might have commended him for being responsible and raising a family.

Every so often during my childhood years he took out his frustration on me. “You’ve got shit for brains!” he shouted, more than a few times.

Ouch!

Obviously, that hurt. A lot. And over the decades since, whenever I visited this memory, I could still feel the gut punch. Finally, a year or so ago, I decided to heal that wound.

So, I asked myself: “What was dad really saying?” What is shit, anyway? Chicken, horse, and bat shit are used for fertilizer. What does fertilizer do? It grows things. So, actually, my dad was saying that I had a fertile mind. Sure, he could have been more tactful with his choice of words, but I do believe this is what he meant.

Next, I reviewed how I’ve created an incredible life out of my unlimited imagination, including a kick ass career getting paid to do what I love, a beloved partner of 32 years who loves me exactly the way I am, and helping thousands of people with inspiring books and coaching and workshops.

Then the activation work began in earnest. Whenever I remembered dad’s tirade, I simply thanked him. “Thanks dad, for seeing my greatest gift!” I did this over and over again and at some point the memory tipped. “Ouch!” became “Thanks!” Instead of feeling shame, I felt gratitude. Instead of shrinking from the memory, I embraced it. Now the memory has value to me.

I unfroze an asset that was stored in time as a liability.

This has been so successful that when I recently got an email from a family member, attacking me in the most absurd way (kinda echoing what dad said) I just laughed. It didn’t make a dent and I immediately remembered what the Dalai Lama said: “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” So, instead of defending myself, explaining, or attacking him back, I just quantum wired him a warm hug!

All of us have wounding memories. I’ve written about how I healed one of mine to encourage you to do the same. I’ve now processed a half dozen of these and the transformational arc keeps shortening. It used to take 40 passes to do a memory 180, now a dozen nails it. Every memory contains pure gold but, like gold in the wild, it takes some panning through gravel to find it.

Believe me, it’s well worth it!

And, I just did this process in real time. A friend was berating me for being a know-it-all and I instantly translated his accusations into a golden gift. He thinks I live in my head. Well, I’ve been traveling from my head to my heart for decades, a deliberate journey from arrogance to kindness that I’ve been public about.

I leaned in fully to what he was saying, agreed!, learned, and no wounding memory was created. Knowing how to do that felt intoxicating. Talk about a confidence builder! I feel ready for anything life might throw at me now.

Please experiment on your own wounding memories and let me know what you discover. Remember: we are unfreezing energetic assets stored in time as liabilities.

On this basis, all of us are potential billionaires! And the energetic market can’t be manipulated by the super rich because all they have is money.