Love First

Why wait to tell each other "I love you!"

This past Sunday about 70 family and friends gathered to celebrate the life of our neighbor Jeff who left this world suddenly a few months ago. We sat together outside near his home, soaking in the beauty of this park-like setting here in the Oregon woods. The sprinkle of rain mixed with periodic sunlight peeking through the clouds seemed perfect, a symbol of Jeff’s wide ranging personality.

I hosted the gathering, which meant holding a ritual space for release and transformation. I was in awe of the beauty we shared. Family members told funny stories, there was music written for Jeff, there were tears, and - when the speaking was done - we had a massive pie fight.

This was something on Jeff’s bucket list so we did it in his honor. 75 creamy pies with loads of whipping cream! We all dressed in plastic coveralls with hoods but the pie debris still found its way inside collars and bras and plastered in hair. It was messy and SO MUCH FUN.

When a close friend leaves suddenly like this, you’re inclined to look back and perhaps regret things said or not said, done or not done. This ceremony inspired me to let my friends know that I love them. Why wait until they’re gone and then say it in the memorial service?

So, how about playing with an idea? We’re aware that our economic system sucks. It’s unfair. It’s fraudulent. And it’s temporary. It will crash at some point because it’s built on such a shaky foundation - greed. How about we substitute appreciation for money and begin exchanging it more regularly?

Remember the film, Pay it Forward? Trailer here, worth watching again. OK, the ending sucked but the idea? Sweet. And, so right on. We pay it forward every time we express appreciation. Appreciation, by definition, “increases value.” So, why would we withhold appreciation? Ever! In fact, here’s a pay it forward mantra:

When in doubt, appreciate

Scientists are fascinated by Artificial Intelligence… here’s the secret to Natural Intelligence: appreciation. We don’t know if plants have emotions but what do YOU feel when you see a flower opening to the sun? Right. Appreciation! It’s natural, it’s meant to be the default setting for all living beings.

You know one thing that derails us? Politics. And… everything that goes with it. Imagine if we were able to focus appreciation where it was needed most, towards those in power who seem hell bent on destroying society. Why are they doing what they are doing? Maybe they are being paid off. Maybe they genuinely believe in the policies they push.

Whether it’s laws regarding gender surgery or mandates for medicines or immigration policies or climate change strategies … everywhere we look we see mostly good intentioned people making things worse because they are leading with ideas, not with feelings. The road to hell is paved with …

Love First!

Imagine what the world might become if we, enough of us put love first, all the time, no matter what. I know, there may be skeptics and cynics out there who could accuse me of burying my head in the sand. Well, as my writing fans know, I agree with Einstein who said we can’t solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.

So, here’s some new thinking: When in doubt, appreciate.

I sure appreciate you for reading my stuff and commenting. Some of you are even volunteering a few dollars. That’s paying it forward too because it all helps the same cause, inspiring and encouraging people to help make this world a better place by broadcasting love into it 24/7. We can do that WHILE we are doing our activism and it will only make that important work more effective.